Morah Katie: Tell me about The Grouchy Ladybug. Why was he so grouchy?
Evan: He wanted to fight.
Moshe: He wanted all the aphids to eat.
Morah Katie: What happened instead?
Moshe: The friendly lady bug said they could share.
Zoey: He didn't want to. They said "If you insist".
Morah Katie: What did they say "If you insist" to? Sharing?
Evan: He wanted to fight everyone.
Lael: He looked for a bee.
Morah Katie: Did the bee want to fight?
Zoey: No, "If you insist."
Morah Katie: How does this story end? Does he stay grouchy?
Evan: The friendly ladybug is still at the leaf and offers to share still.
Moshe: And he says yes and they eat together.
Zoey: And then they are friends.
The Grouchy Ladybug chose to be grouchy and fly around searching for someone to fight with.
The other insects and animals chose not to become upset by him.
They were aware that no one can make you feel angry/frustrated/grouchy without your permission.
Young children feel their emotions in their whole body.
Before they can truly embrace the idea of owning how they feel, we need to help them begin to recognize and control their feelings.
This is a process.
In class, we acknowledge how our friends feel.
We see the children’s emotions not as inconveniences or challenges, but as opportunities to connect with and guide them through the challenging moments.
We give them our full attention while we listen to them, and we reflect back what we hear.
A type of deepened reflective listening is Noticing, inspired by Conscious Discipline. Noticing describes what the child is experiencing without judgment. It describes and demonstrates what the child is doing. This creates a desire for the child to look at us, creating a moment of connection.
Noticing helps our friends develop an awareness of their emotions.
Kenya was at the doll house. Gwen wanted to play at the doll house. Kenya was interested in playing by herself. Gwen began to cry and became upset.
Morah Katie: Your face is going like this (I mirrored what I saw), your arms are going like this.
Gwen looked at me and took a breath.
Gwen: I want to be at the doll house.
Morah Katie: You want to be at the doll house. You aren't getting to do what you want. What can you do?
Gwen: I don't know.
Morah Katie: You can do some breathing. You can find another activity.
Gwen: NO.
Morah Katie: Your face is going like this. Your arms went like this. (Gwen took a breath.) What can you do?
Gwen: I can play somewhere.
Morah Katie: You can play somewhere.
Gwen calmly chose another activity.
We made ladybug puppets.
Evan: I made a nice ladybug.
Morah Katie: What does your nice ladybug do?
Evan: Speaks nice to other ladybugs.
Shoshi: I made a funny ladybug.
Morah Katie: What does a funny ladybug do?
Shoshi: Is funny.
Morah Katie: Funny is fun.
Moshe: I made a nice one.
Morah Katie: What does your nice ladybug do?
Moshe: Plays with other ladybugs.
Zoey: I made a grouchy ladybug.
Morah Katie: What does your grouchy ladybug do?
Zoey: Then it plays with other grouchy ladybugs.
Morah Katie: What happens when they play together?
Zoey: They get happy.
Gwen: I made a friendly ladybug.
Morah Katie: What does your friendly ladybug do?
Gwen: It invites a ladybug to play.
Our friends become able to look at upsetting moments more clearly when we help them express their feelings and wants/hopes about the situation.
Moshe and Zoey were getting ready to sit at the blue mat for group time.
Moshe: Zoey! I was standing here. I was going to sit here.
Zoey: I'm sitting here.
Moshe: Zoey! BUT I was STANDING here!
Zoey continues to sit very close to Moshe.
Morah Katie: I don't know what happened. Moshe I can tell by your face and your voice that you are upset. Can you tell me what happened? And what you are wanting?
Moshe: I'm angry.
Morah Katie: Your face is going like this. And I can tell by your voice you are feeling angry. Can you tell me what happened?
Moshe: I was standing here and Zoey tried to get in my space and sat on my feet. I want space.
Zoey moved over while she was listening.
Morah Katie: Moshe, you want space. Will you please practice asking Zoey to give you space?
Moshe: Zoey will you not sit on my feet and give me space?
Morah Katie: Zoey, I noticed you moved over when you heard Moshe say he wanted space. You are looking away from us. Can you tell me how you are feeling and what you want.
Zoey kept looking away.
Morah Katie: Zoey, did you want to sit by Moshe?
Zoey: Yes.
Morah Katie: May I offer you a few suggestions for next time?
Zoey: Yes.
Morah Katie: You can ask if you can sit next to a friend and wait to hear the yes or no. If they say yes, great! If they say no, you can say, "I hope you will say yes next time" and look for a different friend.
Sometimes our friends are "grouchy" because the way things are is simply not how they want them to be.
You may overhear the morahs in the classroom make simple statements such as:
You wanted to feed the fish.
You wanted the table to go over there.
You wanted the blue ball.
You want the doll.
You want to sit by her.
You want that book.
When we describe what appears to be causing the strong emotion, they can begin to separate from their strong emotions and look at the moment more calmly and see they have choices.
They can choose to do something different.
Morah Katie: If you could talk to the grouchy ladybug what would you say? Or if one of your friends is grouchy, what can you do?
Evan: I'd ask him, why are you so grouchy?
Shoshi: Wish him well.
Moshe: I'd ask the grouchy ladybug to be grouchy somewhere else until he was not grouchy anymore.
Evie: Maybe share?
Shoshi: Hug him.
